Text of my letter to Ohio State Representative Danny Bubp

Representative Bubp,

Pardon me if I don't address you by the customary title of "Honorable," but my cynicism just doesn't run that deep.

I'm pleased to say that until I heard of Rep. Jean Schmidt's statement in Congress on Friday, I was unaware of your name. If only I could have remained so blissfully ignorant.

As you know, in her statement she claimed that you had called and asked her "to send Congress a message: Stay the course. He also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message, that cowards cut and run, Marines never do."

On hearing this I immediately thought this must be some kind of bad-ass MF'er to call Murtha out like that. I was just surprised I'd never heard of you before. With all this swagger, you certainly must've won a war single-handed or something, right? Why aren't there any ships or bases named after you?

Picturing a cross between John Wayne and Marlon Brando as Col. Kurtz, I set off in search of your military record and found the following (as it was on your state website I assume it can be considered accurate and free of manipulation by the "Liberal Media" you and your ilk love to deride):

1978 - Commissioned as Second Lieutenant in the United States Marine Corps
1978-Present - Continues to serve in United States Marine Corps Reserve as a Colonel of Marines
1997-Present - Serves on the staff at the National Defense University, Washington, D.C. as Team Leader for the Reserve Component National Security Course
2003 - Graduate of Naval War College, Newport, Rhode Island
2003 - Served on the J-3 Staff at United States Central Command, Tampa, Florida for General Tommy Franks in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom

I was puzzled. This wasn't at all what I expected to find. Where were the overseas postings in which you must have so admirably displayed your bravery and valor? Where's Beirut, Panama, Gulf War I, Somalia, the Balkans? Hell, you weren't even in Grenada! Not a single mention of an occasion when you responded to the call and put your life on the line. Have your ever even been in a position where you had to decide to stay and fight or "cut and run," or is that just a handy catch phrase thrown around by you and other pathetic excuses for public servants? About the only service related injury it appears you were ever in danger of was getting a blister on your ass from sitting behind a desk all those years.

Let me say that while I have never been a member of the armed services, I have several relatives and friends and associates who have or who are currently serving in various branches of the military. Members of my family served in both World Wars, in Korea, and in Vietnam. Perhaps if I didn't hold their contributions in such deep respect, your actions might not bother me the way they do. As it is, I don't think you could've shown a greater disrespect for Congressman Murtha if you'd been one of those urban-mythical war protesters who spit on GI's as they were returning from Vietnam.

Many are now suggesting that you make a public apology to the Congressman. However, now that I’ve seen your record, I'm not sure it would hold much weight to a man of his character and experience. In any case it wouldn't be enough. Instead, I think it's time to search among whatever tattered shreds you refer to as your "character" and while you're doing it, think about those words that thousands of Marines have lived and died for: honor, courage, commitment. While thinking about that, consider how for nothing more than 15 minutes of fame as part of a cheap political smear, you've insulted not only a fellow Marine, but the Corps and the uniform. Semper Fi is obviously a concept you cannot even grasp, let alone live by.

In past cultures, when a officer brought disgrace upon himself (and, by extension, his fellow officers), he was given a sword or a gun and was left alone to do “the honorable thing.” Because we now live in more enlightened times (perhaps unfortunately), the only honorable thing I can imagine for you to add one item to that military record you seem to take such pride in:   "2005 - Resigned commission for conduct unbecoming a Marine."

If this is too much to ask, there is one other alternative: you're still an active member of the Marine Reserve, so maybe it's time you learn to walk like you talk and get your cowardly ass on the next transport to Iraq. They need you there a lot more than we need another cheap hack politician here.

While I seriously doubt that you're still reading this, I do sincerely wish you courage in whatever decision you make. One way or another, you'll need it.


P.S. Next time you're inclined to take a cheap shot at a national hero like Congressman Murtha, be a man and do it to his face, OK? Don't send a woman to do it for you.